gleep-glorp-discord-bot/main.py

import discord
import logging
import os
from datetime import timedelta
from dotenv import load_dotenv
from random import randint, choice


load_dotenv()
logger = logging.getLogger("discord")
logger.setLevel(logging.DEBUG)
handler = logging.FileHandler(filename="discord.log", encoding="utf-8", mode="w")
handler.setFormatter(logging.Formatter('%(asctime)s:%(levelname)s:%(name)s: %(message)s'))
logger.addHandler(handler)

words = ["gleep", "glorp", "zorp", "gnarp", "gorg", "alien", "alienz", "goog", "slorp", "gorg"]
emojis = ["👽", "🔥", "🗣️"]
yes_no_answers = [
	"zis post waz fakt checkt **TRU** bai rel alienz",
	"yez",
	"gleep ✅",
	"zorp ❌",
	"naur",
	"zis post waz fakt checkt **FALS** bai rel alienz",
	"EW NAUR YUCKY",
	"yea"
]
sad_answers = [
	"naur, i'm sorry :(",
	"naurrr 🥺",
	"plz naur D:",
	"\*sad alien noises\* 😔"
]
happy_answers = [
	"yai!!! :D",
	"yipee",
	"yahoo",
	"gleep :)"
]
swear_words = ["fuck", "shit", "cunt", "bitch", "fucking"]
hi = ["hi", "hi ", "hey ", "hello "]
hello = ["hii :3", "hewwo :3", "heyy :D"]
why_question_answers = [
	"cuz you smell like SHIT",
	"cuz you SUCK",
	"cuz you're veri pretti :3",
	"cuz i luv uuuu",
	"cuz i HATE you",
	"cuz u smel rly gud :D",
	"idfk don't ask me :/",
	"cuz i made it happen",
	"cuz it's fact",
	"it's a universal law"
]
when_question_answers = [
	"now",
	"in 5 seconds",
	'in an hour',
	"in a day",
	"in 3 days",
	"in a week",
	"in 2 weeks",
	"in a month",
	"in 6 months",
	"in a year",
	"in 2 years",
	"in 5 years",
	"in 10 years",
	"in a 100 years",
	"in so long you won't be alive anymore",
	"later"
]

admin_role_id = 1412398091549675541

intents = discord.Intents.default()
intents.members = True
client = discord.Client(intents=intents)

@client.event
async def on_ready():
	print("gleep glorp!!!!!! 👽👍")

@client.event
async def on_message(message: discord.Message):
	if message.author == client.user:
		return
	
	for swear_word in swear_words:

		if message.clean_content.lower().find(swear_word) != -1:
			await message.reply("no swearing")
			await message.channel.send("https://tenor.com/view/xenoverse-goku-super-saiyan-angry-dbz-gif-1416275111944307575")
			return
	
	if client.user.mentioned_in(message):
		response = ""
		content = message.clean_content.removeprefix("@gleep glorp").lower().strip()

		if content.startswith("kill"):
			if content == "kill yourself":
				await message.reply(choice(sad_answers))
				return
			else:
				if message.guild.get_role(admin_role_id) in message.author.roles:
					try:
						await message.mentions[1].timeout(timedelta(minutes=5))
						await message.reply("ok")
					except IndexError:
						await message.reply("you didn't say who to kill")
					except discord.errors.Forbidden:
						await message.reply("i can't >:(")
				else:
					await message.reply("you can't do that you don't have admin dumbass")
				return

		for greeting in hi:
			if message.clean_content.lower().startswith(greeting):
				await message.reply(choice(hello))
				return

		if content.find("goon") != -1:
			response = "gooning is not allowed you fucking weirdo"
		elif content.find("bad alien") != -1:
			response = choice(sad_answers)
		elif content.find("good alien") != -1:
			response = choice(happy_answers)
		elif content.find("why") != -1:
			response = choice(why_question_answers)
		elif content.find("when") != -1:
			response = choice(when_question_answers)
		elif content.startswith("who"):
			response = f"da rel alienz sai it was {choice(message.guild.members).mention}"
		elif content.startswith("do ") or content.startswith("can ") or content.startswith("is ") or content.find("am ") != -1 or content.find("will ") != -1 or content.startswith("are ") or content.find("which") != -1 or content.find("would") != -1 or content.find("does") != -1 or content.startswith("should"):
			response = choice(yes_no_answers)
		elif content.find("ily") != -1 or content.find("i love you") != -1 or content.find("i like you") != -1:
			response = "yay"
		elif content.find("ihy") != -1 or content.find("i hate you") != -1 or content.find("i detest you") != -1 or content.find("i despise you") != -1 or content.find("i hate you") != -1 != -1 or content.find("screw you") != -1 or content.find("fuck you") != -1:
			await message.reply(choice(sad_answers))
			return
		elif content.startswith("say "):
			content = content.removeprefix("say ")
			response = content
		elif content.find("thanks") != -1 or content.find("thank you") != -1:
			response = "no problem bro 😎"
		else:
			if randint(1, 10) != 1:
				for _ in range(randint(1, 8)):
					response += choice(words) + " "

				response = response[:-1] + ("!" * randint(2,4)) + " "

				if randint(1,2) == 1:
					for _ in range(randint(1,3)):
						response += choice(emojis)
			else:
				response = "meow"
		
		await message.reply(response)
	

if __name__ == "__main__":
	client.run(os.getenv("TOKEN"))